By Daniel Brownlie
Well it's finally happened. I'm old.
For the first time in my life I witnessed a generation gap that didn't involve me being the youngest.
Picture the scene… I am sat on the train in the 6 seater area, with a parent and toddler and a teenager listening to noise (it wasn't music that's for sure!). As I pop open the lid of my lunchbox, that's when the interest started, I have their undesired attention. I lift out my very basic ham sandwich, place it on the bottom of the lid (that is now acting as a tray) and open my rectangular sandwiches.
...I may have lost half my audience here, I know some people can be quite precious about the shape of their sandwiches. I have never really understood the appeal of the triangular approach.
This ladies and gentleman is where the magic began…
Aha! I remember that I have a packet of cheese and onion crisps in my bag. I quickly shuffle around my bag to find them, open them up and begin to lace the inside of the ham sandwich with my crisps in a Tetris styled frenzy to ensure full coverage.
I look up to see the toddler looking at me as if I was his new guru, 'teach me oh great one', he could already appreciate the magic of the crisp filled sandwich. His life was never to be the same again.
I then look across to the teenager, who has even taken an ear piece out to pause for thought. Utter disgust. This poor creature was unaware of the simplistic beauty of a crisp filled sandwich. He looked at me with eyes that can only be described as the eyes you give a man who farted in the lift who then tries to look around for blame.
Farting in lifts, is wrong on every level (find the joke in there, its a beauty!)
It's fair to say, he wasn't impressed.
And then the parent, who was of a similar age to myself, looked at me and closed her eyes and began slowly nodding with the utmost appreciation. I could see she wanted to stand up and create a standing ovation. It's ok, kind woman, I know your love. You and your child can bathe in my glory! Go forth and create plentiful crisp sandwiches and spread the word.
Please eat responsibly. I accept no responsibility for your future addiction or obesity levels. Crisp sandwiches are to be enjoyed as part of a balanced diet and healthy lifestyle.